So amid all the chaos in our world and the breakdown of our governments comes a moment of utter personal WTF!

There are days when your world just shifts 180 degrees and you find yourself looking at things from the other side of the looking glass. Today is one of those days. My view of the world and my view of myself is changed forever.

This morning I received a letter from a New York law firm. I’m still processing the contents and I honestly don’t know what to make of any of this. You spend your life with an identity. You build your world based on it. You piece together what you can from the patchwork life you’ve been given. You fill in the gaps with some assumption. But then this arrives and all that changes.

So it turns out my dad has known about me all these years. Probably knew exactly where I was this entire time. And that’s not even the shocker. I’ve found out that he’s dead. He was living IN NEW YORK!!! And he died two weeks ago. The letter says I have to go there. Sorry this is a ramble – a bit much to process.

I called Auntie Monica immediately. Now I’m freaked out. My dad? She doesn’t want to talk about any of this on the phone. She’s asked me to go back to Bunratty so we can talk in person.

How did they find me? The law firm, I mean. Did he know where I was? When I was a girl I used to imagine he was watching over me, keeping tabs on everything I was up to. It’s some silly little fantasy that I’d always thought about, always hoped for, but didn’t dare to dream it was true. And it just might be.

And now he’s gone.

Oh, and I think my name isn’t actually my real name! What is going on????

DBx